


untitled

by noahpocalypse



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:43:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4666956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahpocalypse/pseuds/noahpocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>my deepest desire is to be a cloud</p>
            </blockquote>





	untitled

When I was younger I had this kite I could never get to stay in the air. My dad use to try and help me out, but I didn’t mind. It was a pretty ordinary looking kite. Solid red I think with not a spec of any other color. I haven’t thought about it in such a long time. Don’t even remember whether I lost it or not. There was one occasion when the frame broke but my dad was able to fashion it back together with crazy glue so I don’t think it was thrown away. You never know with parents though. Sometimes lying is the best option they think they have when confronting certain situations. Later on when they think you’ve gotten old enough they tell you what really happened so that everyone can reminisce and laugh about that one time you did something so cute, adorable, precious, and naïve because you were too young and innocent to know any better. This is probably the usual approach most parents take when those awkward, unsettling moments present themselves so unexpectedly. The child involved doesn’t think much of it, not until the day arrives when he or she is trying to find that one epoch where they should’ve known life was not going to be as conventional for them as everybody else. “Dinner is ready Duston she called you like four times come on!” I’ve stopped acknowledging what my sister says almost completely now in consequence of my circumstances. That still doesn’t stop her from bellowing at the door when I decide to stay within the confines of my room when six rolls around. “Thank you for joining us son. Did you get lost again?” “Not entirely. It’s just been a little harder to come down lately.” My dad gives me a look that falls somewhat in between guilt and disgust. Why he still wraps himself up in the same old demeanor around me I don’t know. We’ve talked more than once before about what’s going on and he’s well aware I hold no grudge or resentment towards him. Yet, whenever I find myself around him I can’t help but notice things aren’t how they use to be between us. Dinner goes by seemingly quick and I stay with mom to help with the dishes. There’s always this strange vibe I get from her when we talk to each other that I can’t quite figure out. Whenever I tell her about it she tells me I’m crazy with a smile that makes me feel like I really am. “How are you doing today my son?” she says as her eyes depart from the task ahead of her to my confused appearance. “Just fine,” I respond, “a little light-headed, but I think that’ll pass soon. How are you doing today?” I’m handed a plate to dry as her eyes again become fixated on me. “Not bad, I picked up your sister and cousins from school early so I didn’t have to wait in that line today thank goodness. Jerald stayed for tryouts. He texted me before dinner saying that he was going out to eat with Mikey afterwards.” “Do you think he made it?” “Oh yeah of course. I’m not the coach though. It’s probably a good thing I’m not to otherwise he would be on the team whether he was good or not!” A spoon almost hits the ground but I manage to recover myself just in time to save it from the fall. “I thought you didn’t like football mom?” “True, however I’m willing to put that sentiment aside if that’s what your brother really wants to play. Besides, Jerald knows that after his first injury the deal we made is terminated and there is no way for it to be ratified again unless some divine intervention occurs and I am compelled to change my mind.” “I hope he doesn’t get himself hurt while he’s playing then.” “You and him both sweetheart. I think we’re just about done here. Could you wipe down the counters, table, and oven for me Duston?” “Sure thing mom. Do you want me to call Bailey in here afterwards so she can get started on the floor?” “I think we’ll skip the floor this time. Aunt Sam told me she might have to bring the kids over here later if Tanya can’t watch over them tonight. No sense in having Bailey mop when it’s a sure thing the floor will get just as dirty as it is now if not more. Before you go to bed come by my room ok? You’re not in trouble or anything in case that’s what you were thinking.” “Does dad want to talk to me again?” “That’s not it either. Just make sure to come by ok?” “Yes ma’am.” “Good! I’m going to go pick up Jerald from Mikey’s now. Be on the lookout for your aunt she may make it here before I get back.” “Yes ma’am.” There was a brief moment of silence before she headed towards the door to leave. It felt as if her departure signaled my return to the surface of the world and all my problems. Soon enough I would be reacquainted with every minor detail of life responsible for my current situation. Then something happened as the door drew to a close. “I love you,” she said so jovial and nonchalant “see you when I get back.” “I love you too mom.” I answered her as if I had been caught off guard by the phrase. For me to think for a second that my mother had no feeling of affection towards me would be absurd to say the least. I guess growing up has made me forget that “I love you” was my mom’s favorite thing to say to me when I was younger. The sound of her cranking up the car is so disconcerting that I fall back into one of the kitchen chairs thrusting my head back. Shortly after I can hear someone coming from the living room to the kitchen and quickly try to regain my composure. It’s Bailey. “So what do you do all day anyway?” Our age difference easily certifies her as the younger sibling, yet that doesn’t stop her from speaking in her usual condescending tone. “The same thing you usually do.” I reply getting up to pour a glass of water. “No you don’t. I go to school all day; you know to learn stuff like they say. Have you learned anything lately?” “I’ve learned enough to not have to be in class with you.” She shoots me a playful, mischievous smile to let me know that she hasn’t even begun to start with me. “So what exactly do you know that I don’t besides how to get away with doing nothing without anyone getting mad at you?” “Do you want to know the secret to my success?” “If that’s what you want to call it, sure. Tell me then oh wise one how do you do it?” She crosses her arms in disbelief waiting for some marvelous answer that I have agreed to give her. “Well, all you have to do is go someplace far, far from me. There’s your answer. Satisfied?” Taking a sip of water I watch her roll her eyes in annoyance. “You’re so typical Duston. One of these days you’re going to need my help and guess what my answer is going to be.” “I highly doubt I’ll ever need any help from you.” “Oh you will and when you do I’ll be there to give you a helping hand.” “Like I said, fat chance of that happening.” “I can’t wait until you finally realize you need me in your life Duston.” I finish my glass of water and head back to my room without paying any attention to Bailey’s nonsense. Hopefully mom will be back soon so that I can get whatever it is that she has for me and go to sleep. It’s been a long day and I’m ready to put an end to it now. On my way up the staircase I spot my father around the corner. He glances at me but doesn’t say a word. “Could you let me know when mom gets back pop?” I ask as his figure disappears from my view. “Sure thing son. How’s the whole ‘finding yourself’ thing going? Have you made any progress today?” “It’s going good. I think I’ve gotten a lot farther than yesterday.” This is the usual answer he hears from me and I’m sure he’s gotten tired of it by now. “Well let me know if you need anything son. You know your mother and I are always here for you.” “Thanks dad. I really do appreciate it.” “Anytime Duston.” As he begins to walk away I try and gather the courage to say to him what I’ve been keeping to myself for what seems like a lifetime. I know it’s probably something he doesn’t want to hear and it’ll most likely cause him to be even more upset with my decision, but I think I’ve waited long enough. Plus he is my father. He does have a right to know what I plan to do with myself I guess even if it is outrageously bad in his eyes. “Hey dad,” I say as he opens the door to his room, “can I tell you something?” “Of course son. What’s on your mind?” Reticent at first I pause knowing that either it’s now or never for me to tell him. The thought holds me back for a moment. Thankfully, we both redirect our attention to the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. In my mind I hope that it’s mom returning from Mikey’s with Jerald even though I know Mikey lives about 45 minutes away. 7:15 is when mom left and before I started talking to dad it was only 7:28. The doorbell rings and Aunt Sam as usual announces her presence to us well before Bailey even gets the chance to open the door, leaving my hopes shattered. “Hey niece! Long time no see! Has your mom left already to go pick up Jerald?” “Yes ma’am you just missed her. She left about 15 minutes ago.” Bailey’s response isn’t quite as enthusiastic as Aunt Sam’s greeting, but Aunt Sam has always been an exceptionally lively person. I turn back to dad only to see the vacant space he has left behind on his way down the stairs. “I’ll be right back Duston,” he says, “let me check in with your aunt then you can tell me what’s on your mind.” Taking advantage of the opportunity Aunt Sam has given me I continue to my room relieved and anxious. Most of my room has been packed into suitcases except for three letters laid on top of my bed. I’ve decided not to take them with me despite their sentimental value plus I don’t want Bailey to get the idea that she was able to help me in the least after I’m gone. I move the letters aside and fall back on the bed tired and a little indecisive. As I try to get some sleep a faint knock at the door sends my heart to the bottom of my stomach and gets my adrenaline racing. My first thought is that it’s dad coming back to pick up where we left off which would then lead to him coming inside and seeing this which would deter me from following through with what I had resolved to do. There’s no way I can put everything I’ve packed up back in place in time. I guess this is it. At least I was going to tell dad what I planned to do. Maybe it’s better that everyone founds out at the same time that way there won’t be anyone showing up to the scene late clueless asking what’s going and what happened making things even more awkward. “Hey Duston, it’s your Aunt Sam. Tell your mom for me when she gets back that the book club may end late tonight. We just finished The Great Gatsby and I’m sure that we’ll lose track of time talking about how the movie doesn’t do the book any justice and-well anyway thanks in advance. I’ve got to be going now I’ll see you later.” I can’t recall another time I’ve been this happy to hear Aunt Sam. I make the decision to skip catching up on sleep and instead begin getting the rest of my things together so that I can leave as soon as possible and avoid any more dilemmas. It doesn’t take me long and in about two minutes I’m set and ready to go. I’ve spent way too much time in this house, in this city. My plan originally was to venture up north and live with one of my childhood friends I grew up with. We practically knew each other before our moms gave birth to us so I knew he would be someone that I could trust and above all share a place with. As I got more serious about leaving, however, I discovered that going up north wasn’t far enough. I realized that I needed to get away from everything going on in the world and that I needed to be able to live freely rather than living with the small freedoms given to people. I needed to be able to do as I please and not have to worry about what to do with my life 10 or 15 years from now. A vagrant was the first thing that came to mind during my epiphany, but shortly after I formed a somewhat more logical notion. In Russia there are a group of scientists who have made significant progress on a bio signature alteration machine and are looking for willing candidates to assist them in further studies. I intend to go to Russia and volunteer for these studies in an effort to become what I now truly desire to be, a cloud. Now that I think about it, maybe I should have told dad about my decision. I’m sure he would’ve been happy. Not necessarily about the cloud aspect, but about me finally finding something in life that I could endeavor towards. The thought of leaving my family behind makes me feel uneasy for some reason as I approach the window sill to begin my journey but I have no intentions of turning back now. I climb down the crudely made rope I fashioned at of bed sheets full of anxiety praying that I won’t plunge into the plot of bushes at my feet. As I feel my feet touch the ground I can see through the narrow slits of the fence a car slowly approaching the corner of the street. Without a doubt I know for sure who will be arriving at the house this time around. My heart once again drops to the bottom of my stomach before I realize that I’m already in the clear. All I have to do is wait now, patiently wait for mom and Jerald to go inside then I can finally start towards my new life. The grass is illuminated by the headlights of the car as it turns into the driveway. I hear the car doors slam and decide to quietly go to the side of the house to take a peek around the corner. Jerald looks like a giant among dwarfs walking alongside mom as they approach the front door. Shortly after mom rings the doorbell dad appears as the front door opens. Now’s my chance. I wait a few minutes after the door closes as a precaution then begin walking towards the street with my luggage. It doesn’t take me long to reach the corner and soon I find myself sitting alone at the bus stop. About 20 minutes later the bus comes and I get aboard clumsily with all my bags. I find a spot in the back adjacent to the window and take a seat. This is it. At last I’ll be able to leave behind everything that was holding me back and pursue my dream. I never thought things would happen like this but nonetheless I’m happy anyway for once in what feels like forever. From the window I watch the scenery reel past and I feel at ease. I won’t have to see any of this again I think to myself. It took far too long for me to get away from all of this. The only thing I’m worried about now is how long the flight will be from here to my new home. Right as I ponder this it hits me. I search frantically through my things but to no avail am I able to find the essential component of my plan, my wallet. My pockets give me no relief either as I pull out nothing from them besides lint and a cell phone. How could I forget the one thing holding the key to my escape! I scream out in anger forgetting that I am not the only passenger on the bus. The elderly woman driving the bus almost swerves into the opposite lane of traffic as a result of my outburst causing everyone to become even more annoyed and infuriated with me. An overwhelming sensation of despair outweighs any shame that might have come about in consequence of my abrupt, impulsive action. Fortunately, the bus is still able to make it to the airport despite almost having a head on collision. I make my way off bombarded by livid insults and stand idly in front of the airport entrance as the bus rushes to its next destination. Searching through my belongings again I still have no luck finding my wallet but decide to walk into the building anyway. I find a place to sit down and start contemplating my next move. It doesn’t take long for me to reach an ultimatum. Either I go back and retrieve my wallet or I stay here and twiddle my thumbs hoping someone will be kind enough to give me the money for an international flight. Disappointed and exhausted I go back to the bus stop and wait for the next pickup. I pull my phone out of my pocket and see a new voicemail notification on the screen. It’s from mom. Before calling her back I try and piece together my best innocent child voice although at this point there’s no looking past what I’ve done. I dial the number, hold the phone to my ear, and listen as the dial tone counts down to the moment of truth. A voice finally breaks through and I hear mom calling my name. “Duston?” she says “where are you? I just got back and wanted to give you what we talked about earlier before I went to bed.” Struck with confusion it takes a moment before I manage to respond. “I’m at the airport mom.” “So you were just going to leave without telling anyone and ignore the fact that I still had something to give to you. Why?” “I couldn’t wait any longer mom. I needed to go. I’m sorry.” “Well,” she says after a short pause, “I really wished you would’ve said something beforehand. Where are you?” “I’m sitting at the bus stop outside the airport over in Northside.” “I thought so. I’ll be right there.” She hangs up without saying anything else. 20 minutes later she pulls up and calls me over to the car. I get inside and brace myself for what’s about to come. “Here you go Duston.” She hands me a grey credit card with my name printed in silver letters. “I thought that I should help another one of my sons with their aspirations for a change. I know that you’re very dedicated to the path you’ve chosen, but didn’t you at least want to see what I got for you?” “Yeah, kind of,” I say still curiously looking at the card, “but I didn’t think you would be giving me something like this.” “I went through your journal. If you wanted to go so bad why didn’t you say something huh?” “It’s not something particularly easy to say mom.” “Even so, you still should’ve waited until I had the chance to give this to you. I guess you should get going now though. You might be able to catch the next flight if you hurry.” With my gift clutched in my hand I tell her thank you and hug her goodbye before starting my journey for the second time. I purchase a round trip ticket and head over to my flight terminal. While standing in line a smile sneaks onto my face along with a thought. “This is it,” I say to myself, “it’s now or never.”


End file.
